The who, what, when, where and why of this trip.

So I suppose there are two questions one might have that I should answer before I begin actually blogging. First is the title. Well, I have recently learned that in Indonesia the use of toilet paper is highly frowned upon, so the left hand has one purpose: I’ll spare you the “shitty” details, but lets just say that if I were the type of person to name body parts, my left hand would be going by Charmin. Needless to say, I have packed more little Kleenex packets than clothing for this trip.

The second is why I am traveling 10,000 miles away to hopefully teach English as a Second Language. Answering that question may be tougher than learning to wipe one’s ass with a bare hand. I am terrified that any explanation I give may come off as pretentious, or that this is the result of some pathetic counter-culture inspired “quarter life crisis” (I shudder even writing that phrase). And in fact, it may be both of those, but I certainly hope that isn’t the case.

In reality I would say that there are two main reasons for this trip: the fear I will have to overcome by being so far away and being ultimately, terrifyingly alone, and also the ability to have a job. I don’t mean having a job in the way that every recent college graduate wants a job right now so that they can move out of their parents’ house again, but in having and holding a meaningful position for more than 4 months. I tend to have trouble staying very committed to things; unless that thing were Fantasy Football in which case I am very committed.

In the spirit of (almost) full disclosure, I will try to be very open and honest with both myself and anyone who decides to follow this. This openness is a bit easier knowing that my followers will probably number less than the number of fingers I have. But here goes nothing: After graduation I was very nervous about what came next. I was mostly burnt out on Art History and going to Graduate School seemed like a nightmare. The only thing worse I could think of was working a 9-5, so I delivered Pizzas and watched a lot of TiVo-ed television while I planned on what would come next. In moments of both total (and hazy) clarity, I realized that I needed to really challenge myself.

I have never fully completed anything I began unless it was a Power Hour or a Batman movie-marathon, and I quickly lost interest in many of my undertakings because they never really stimulated me (or I'm just inherently lazy, but lets go with the first option). Art History had stimulated me, but I needed a break. Travel had stimulated me, I realized, looking back on my travels through Europe. Education and working with kids had stimulated me. So it became quite clear that teaching abroad was probably a good way to totally immerse myself in the most challenging thing I could do, while still having a chance to stay committed and excited about it. That is pretty much the long and short of it. I want to scare the pants off of myself and see what I am actually made of. My favorite quotation is Hunter S. Thompson saying that one should “Never turn your back on fear. It should always be in front of you, like a thing that might have to be killed.” While Hunter S. Thompson traveled across America with a trunkful of hallucinogens, I will fly across the world with one zanax and enough Pepto Bismol to calm the stomach problems of a Clydesdale. My goal is not HST’s drug-induced road to self-discovery through self-destruction, but a road to self-discovery through facing fear and embracing a totally different culture. Hence, I begin my travels to the end of the world and to the depths of my confidence and personal resolve.

So off I go to face some big fears that include but are not limited to: isolation, failure, and wiping my ass with my bare hand.