My strange connection to Robin Williams

Today I had to go to work early to fill out a bunch of forms to get my debit card for the bank here in Indonesia, after filling out all that paperwork I had a few hours to kill and walked to the mall to buy a bunch of pirated DVDs (my favorite thing about Indonesia; I bought 5 today for $2.50). While browsing the DVDs I came across a childhood classic, Hook, with Robin Williams as Peter Pan, Dustin Hoffman as Captain James Hook, and Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell. First, I believe this might be the only role in which I actually enjoyed Julia Roberts. She usually unnerves me in all of her roles. Especially Erin Brockovich, but maybe thats just because of my fear of strong, motivated women; who knows. Anyway, I realized as I was watching Hook that I was making some connections to the story and theme of the film with my current situation.

Now I realize this is my second blog referencing a Robin Williams movie as Mrs. Doubtfire was the topic of a previous discussion. I found it quite odd to be spoken to by two different Robin Williams films. I then realized he is also in a movie based on my highschool, MBA (Dead Poets Society), and the only film that can make me cry more than Rudy (Good Will Hunting). This seemed strange to me; of all the actors who make wonderful films, why is it that Robin Williams has been the one I am having the most connections with and finding most thought provoking. I can only hope it to be coincidence or proof of God’s twisted sense of humor, although it could be that I feel a connection because we are both hairy individuals. All I know is that I hope I don’t follow in the alcoholic and cocaine-addict footsteps of my new film idol (sorry John Cusak, you are now in second place).

But back to the point of this entry. As I was watching the movie I began to draw parallels to my own life. Robin Williams ends up on “a great adventure” as it is often called by the lost boys in which he becomes torn between this great adventure, this carrying on of youthful excitement, and his responsibilities back home with a family and job. In numerous scenes he forgets why he is even in Neverland (something most of the children who visited Michael Jackson’s version wish they too could do) only to be pulled back toward reality. It is a feeling I am quite familiar with; being youthful and trying to hold onto that as long as possible while occasionally forgetting that I am here in an attempt to grow. I am currently visiting Neverland by seeing parts of the world that were totally unknown to me. I travel with fellow “misfits” much like the Lost Boys. None of us are ready to grow up; there is a great fear to what lies ahead. In the film it is Peter’s “turning into an adult” that killed his ability to fly. I think that myself and probably many other TEFL teachers share a similar feeling. We see the adults around us who, to us anyway, look stuck; look as if they have forgotten how short and fun life can or should be. We are the ones who currently have the ability to fly, to go on adventures, to see new places, to live life. Now I admit this is an early 20s prejudice that is probably wrong, however it is still a feeling that is as of yet inescapable. I always hear my parents say how it is everything in their world to have a family, and I honest to God believe them, I just don’t think I am totally there yet.

Even Captain Hook is avoiding the ticking of time with his fear of clocks. Both Hook and Pan say that “To die would be a grand adventure.” I don’t think they mean they want to die, I certainly don’t mean for my connection to that statement to indicate as such (I don’t desire death, in case that was hard to understand...no suicidal thoughts here, just Steven Spielberg induced existential ones). However, I think they are saying that in their search for a life of youth and adventure the unknown of what death entails seems to have far more potential for adventure than the actual process of growing up. We have all seen people grow up, there doesn’t seem to be much adventure or excitement to it: get a job, settle down: eventually that routine turns into go to work, come home, eat dinner, fall asleep watching the 9pm news with the remote control resting on your beer belly. There is sense of repetition and boredom in what the average youth sees as adulthood. Now I assume that this is not actually the case as looks can be deceiving, just as well the look and appeal of adventure, or the closest we can come to Neverland, may also be deceiving us into this lifestyle.

The film ends with Peter Pan/Robin Williams realizing that his “happy thoughts” were based back in reality and before leaving Neverland he says “To live would be an awfully big adventure.” I guess what I am trying to say is that by taking my trip to Neverland through this experience I can both satisfy a very base and immediate desire to know that I am living a life worth living, one in which opportunities were seized, and also come to my own conclusion that “to live would be an awfully big adventure.” This begs the question as to if life is best lived in adventure (but relative solitude as close friends and family are hard to come by on the run) or if it is best lived in human connections that can carry onward even after we are gone. Mumford and Sons sings “The flesh that lived and loved will be eaten by plague. So let the memories be good for those who stay.” We all have to leave this life at one point or another, so is it best to live through love, or to live through experience. The first we can pass on, the second we can’t take with us. So as it was for Peter Pan; life, growing up, may take away our ability to fly, but perhaps there is something to be said for being grounded.

Anyway, I hope this makes sense to the rest of you. Maybe you can see a connection, or maybe you just see me as some self-obsessed egomaniac who can turn even a children’s movie into a metaphor for his own life. I think both may have some bearing. Well, I am off to find more Robin Williams connections in my own life, perhaps next up with be the genie from Alladin, wish me luck.